You taught me to set aside my fears in order to love you, but you also taught my fears to eat me up. And now I’m so scared that one day I might lose you.
If ever Love failed to make us stay, you would remember me in everything that you will do just like what I’m feeling for you everyday, how I see you in everything I do.
When you wake up, you would miss my good morning messages that always reminds you to eat well, to stay safe and to have a great day.
When you’re about to sip your coffee, you would remember me for I’m not allowed to drink that and you were always there to say no. But by that time please know that I would be drinking black coffee just to stay awake and to avoid you in my dreams.
When you’re about to eat your meal, you would remember how I always annoy you to eat more than you wanted because I want you to be huggable. You would lose your appetite just the thought of me being gone. But please no, I would be sad. Please eat well.
When you’re about to go to school or let’s say to work, you would miss my endless “please be safe, message me when you’re already there” messages.
When you’re about to look at our old pictures, you would notice how happy we were before and you would regret and wonder what happened to us.
When you’re about to listen to my voice messages, you would realize how lucky you were that I was so inspired to sing for you, you would miss those laughters between my songs, how I was out of tune and how I was stuttering.
When you’re about to study, you would miss my reminders to you to study well and don’t play video games till you’re not finsh. I would still know that you would still choose to play first before to study, I know you that well.
When you’re about to play video games, you would miss being irritated because there would be no me that annoys and floods you messages that keeps on telling you that you’re not making me your priority.
When you’re about to open your social medias, you would miss how your notifications were flooded . They would be empty for no one is flooding you anymore.
When you’re about to make a poem, you would miss how I wanted to recieve many from you, by that time you would be full of ideas but you have no one to give those to.
When you’re about to read our old conversations, you would miss me, you would miss how sweet I was before, how I managed to tell you how much I loved you.
If ever you feel down and lonely, you would miss how clingy I was to you, how I told you things that you’re not a failure, that you were a blessing to me, that I was there for you. I meant those words.
When you’re about to sleep, you would miss my good night messages telling you to sleep tight, have a sweet dreams, and dream of me. You would be a awake for hours thinking how am I doing now or do I even miss you.
If you ever really miss me, just let me know, I’m just one call away, I might tell you I miss you too.
And when you’re about to realize that you still love me, you would miss me, because I would be gone by that time for you just have realized it too late.
Don’t make me fall in love with you. We would always go to the nearest beach or bay just to see the sunset. I’ve always wanted to watch how the sun sets but ’till now I don’t have the chance to see that or maybe because kismet already planned that date to be special with my love.
Don’t make me fall in love with you for I would always get jelous whenever you talk about your past relationships, just forget them, let’s make our own memories.
Don’t make me fall in love with you. I would expect gifts from you on our monthsaries, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas and so on for those dates are special to me.
Don’t make me fall in love with you because I would always give you crafts and small efforts like poems and love letters though it’s just an ordinary day.
Don’t make me fall in love with you.
I would always want to receive poems and love letters from you ’cause I love how words can express your feelings for me.
Don’t make me fall in love with you. I am attention seeker, I would get mad if I can’t contact you, If I can’t reach you. I would get angry just because you are not replying that fast, I would think that there are things that are more important than me.
Don’t make fall in love with you. I would always ask you how your day was and I would want to know if you misses me or is it just okay with you not seeing me.
Don’t make me fall in love with you, I would notice all your changes from our first conversation to our latest one, from all your efforts before up to now, I can’t help but to comapre those doings. I would get upset because I’ve known that you’ve became less romantic or so what. I can’t help but worry if you still love me or not.
Don’t make me fall in love with you, I can be the clingiest and possessive girl that would always demand your time. I wanna talk to you all day, I want to be with you all day to the point you would get annoyed because I’m disturbing to your life.
Don’t make me fall in love with you. I would love you more than I could love myself and you would just get irritated to me.
There was a girl who likes to catch stars every night.
Interstellar sky- that was the life she would always love to live.
But the very next day, she was mesmerized by how the moon smiles to her.
By how the moon stays with her every time during starless nights
When the stars are not there to comfort her during her sleepless nights, stressed hours at 3 am’s, paranoid mindset and scary room.
By how its round, grayish appearance makes her calm.
By how its mysteriousness makes her curious, wanting every details about him.
From then on, she always waits the sky to dim, the sun to sets, the moon to shines disregarding the little stars.
She constantly falls in love with the moon every night, for the first time without even realizing it.
This time she wanted to catch the moon not knowing the he was already hers.
Time came where she already knew what she was up to and she said I love you.
But a moonless night came.
And how witless she was to look upon to stars again.
How stupid she was to think those little stars are better than her moon.
They are nothing compared to her moon, she knows it deep inside but she’s stubborn enough to be mad.
The moon got upset.
And she’s not even sure what to do, cursing every little stars.
Realizing her mistake, she’s not sure of herself anymore.
But there’s one thing she is sure of, she’s staying with her moon, hoping that he would never leave her.
When love arrives,
All those petty things,
Would be pretty things,
All those bored minutes
Would be momentous
All those trifling lines
Would have a lasting importance
All those small details
Would be very unfrivolous
All those aching stings
Would be joyous butterflies
All those casual dreams
Would be unwitting thoughts
All those set fete
Would be just spontaneous sashays
All those ordinary walks
Would be exceptional memories
All those small talks
Would seem long conversations
All those conscious frownings
Would be oblivious smiles
All those uncontrolled cryings
Would be insensible laughs
All those unconstrained anxieties
Would be a haven like happiness
When love arrives,
All those loves for favorite ones
Would be just for YOU.
I am always hoping that one day I would wake up feeling nothing at all, because I hate feeling everything. I hate feeling down, I hate feeling stressed, I hate feeling busted, I hate feeling unwanted, I hate feeling taken for granted, I hate having feelings.
I don’t know if I really hate being sensible or I just hate myself. I am always telling myself that I will also get used to all these feelings but as my mind and heart would have it, I’m still not used to it and I even think I will never be. I’m tired of giving a darn to people, to people who don’t know my worth. I’m already tired of showing them how I love them, how I miss them and how I need them. It is just nothing to them. It’s like they are thinking that I’m just always here for them no matter what happen, well NO. I’m tired of you guys. I’m not going to chase after you anymore. I’ve realize that I would be happier with other people-those who’s always there for me if I would let go all of you. I’ve come to know that I’m too worthy to chase and be clingy to people who doesn’t give a care to my sentiments. And I’m not gonna feel nor say sorry anymore for feeling those emotions because it’s not my fault anyway.
If you give me that treatment, then I would just return to you that treatment you are giving me.
If they need me as much a I need them, they would make an effort for me to feel it. If they love me as much as I love them, I wouldn’t feel like I am just an option, like I am just a past time. Of course, whenever they need a favor from me, I’m just a one chat and call away and I would help them anyway though I know that they are just being like that because they just need something again from me. I’m that stupid. The unfair part is, I’m just always here waiting for them to miss me while they are enjoying other things. And the worse question is what if they don’t really miss me? What if they are just pretending because they need something from me?
If you miss me, message me, talk to me, make me aware of it. Ugh no. Don’t do it if you just miss me, if you just bored or if you just feel that you need to be in touch with me. I want you to feel that I’m special, that I’m worthy, that you love me, then that’s the only premise you can give to yourself if you want to talk to me. Don’t make me feel like I’m not a priority, that l am not important.